See the old woman a-pickin' her geese!
Selling her feathers a penny apiece!
~ Still Glides the Stream :: Flora Thompson
On Monday, as it was spitting snow and sleet, Roan and I watched the goldfinches in the hemlock tree. The bulk of the crowd was picking the seeds out of the tiny cones at a rapid rate, while a few others were doing cleanup on the ground. We learned about their Winter coats, with the help of one of those wee Golden Books bird guides. It was a happy moment, where a mother can say, "Now this is holistic learning."
I think it is easy to question ourselves in this new era of "communication." It's also just as easy to "find your tribe" and live in a world of your own making. As a homeschooling parent, one can find oneself surrounded by a plethora of strong opinions, methodologies, and labels. Strong opinions come with the territory, I think. It can feel like a confusing tangle to find just the right place for your own family, and to accept your own constraints and strengths.
I've always been the introvert, the INFJ, and the way we do things is an extension of my abilities. I am content to spend my days quietly, even if I am surrounding by three vivacious children! I've had the socialization topic come up just a time or two. One person said I was always choosing who my children were around. That is largely true, though people who choose conventional schooling make that choice, too. They simply choose from a larger pool.
Being who I am, I've spent a long time reflecting on the options around me and the ones I've settled upon. I've also observed how things have fallen into place for our methods, how we come upon new adventures that seem to match our studies. Finding the Enki curriculum was like seeing my life come full circle. Waldorf was a calming breath of fresh air. I liken it to sitting on a warm stone on one of our mountains as a pleasant breeze goes by. It made sense. It felt right.
I've given lots of thought to how I go about my days and how my behavior will influence my children. I do want them to be content within themselves, capable of fulfilling their own emotional needs, and I think introversion serves this well. I also want them to enjoy community in regular doses, and I feel this will grow as they do. For now, we enjoy having friends over for some of our family festivals, and we attend various local festivals focused on Appalachian culture. It's an evolving picture of balance.
I think the biggest lessons I wish to come out of homeschooling are contentment and creativity, as they have lifelong benefits. Consumer culture would like for us to avoid such immaterial things and to be wildly "social." I know I'm increasing my aptitude for these skills, right alongside my children, and we're doing it at a pace that is just right for all of us.
Lovely of you to share your thoughts in this way... I think self-awareness is so important, and I admire you greatly for considering your Self as part of the picture for finding balance in your family. As you say, being aware and accepting of our own needs and tendencies serves us well - otherwise I think we may risk burnout or even the sense of pretending to be someone we are not (not a healthy way to live, at all). I do think balance is the key concept in life... I think we all should think about what a picture of emotional health looks like, while still realizing there are some differences in what that will look like from person to person. Quiet reflection and the inner life are just as important to me as the warmth and soul-to-soul contact of human interaction, both for myself and my children. I liked your remark about being "wildly 'social'" and the implication that this is an offshoot of consumer culture... I rather agree with you - I think there are more meaningful and deeper ways to be social than just shuffling children from one crowded activity to the next. It's very hard for many people today, who see how most children in our society are raised, to consider that an alternative method of doing things might be more healthful and more sound - people are so inclined to react negatively to those who deviate from what they perceive as 'the norm,' rather than question the wisdom of 'the norm' itself. Your children are blessed to have your thoughtful parenting and all your love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your reply and your encouragement. Balance is so important, and things are always tipping one way or another. We've certainly had more social times and times where it felt better to draw in and work on ourselves.
DeleteDear homeschooling introvert �� You are doing a marvellous job listening to your own and your children's need for a quiet and nourishing life. It is great that you live in a peaceful area where you can spend time in nature and teach your children the importance of taking things slow, of noticing...these are great gifts. Things do change as children grow and expand their interests but whilst they are still young there is nowhere better for them than to be close to home, I feel. Of course there are the extroverts who depend on social life for their very existence and meaning in life and to them your quiet family life would be incomprehensible. Having some of the same traits as you, I think long and hard about everything. My children, being introverts, are exhausted after a long social day at school. I do think half days would be enough for them but as they go to school I accept this and try to make sure they have plenty of quiet time at home afterwards. It is a balance as you say. We need to be out there to be part of the world but I think it is ok to decide what and who our children should and should not be exposed to whilst they are still young and in our care and not to be swayed by society's 'norms' which certainly don't suit everyone and can be unwholesome and not at all child centred. I don't think you can go wrong if you listen to your heart and what feels right and good for you and your family. Creativity and contentment are sure to follow. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. Being social can make me quite tired, almost feverish at times. I guess I have become very used to my own quiet days. ;-) I have heard other parents say that their children really need some quiet time at home after a whole week at school.
DeleteI think the more you go out the better it does get...not lots of days in a row of course!!...I mean just exposure makes the shock/tiredness/fever as you call it, less extreme...if you know what I mean? You are in company all the time with your children which is also energy zapping sometimes, I think, so further socialising can feel too much? I often feel exhausted after school festivals with the busyness/overstimulation, even though they are lovely. We introverts need plenty of time alone that's for sure to tank up our energy levels. Your quiet days sound lovely to me!
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