It is World-destiny
That they are silent now.
To become aware of the silence
Can become pain for earthly man.
But in the deepening Silence
There grows and ripens
What Man speaks to the Stars.
To be aware of the speaking
Can become strength for Spirit-Man.
~Rudolf Steiner :: As taken from The Challenge of the Will: Experiences with Young Children by Margret Meyerkort and Rudi Lissau
I have been feeling quite out of place lately, but I suppose that is nothing new for me. I think I was born out of place. Okay, not really. I know I was born at just the right time for whatever my life's work is, but I do feel mournful a lot of the time. Melancholic--that is me. It is funny to say that, to think of the predispositions that may come with that term, especially since people thought I was always so annoyingly cheerful in my youth.
Parenting these days has me thinking (no surprise there). It feels like things are not the same as when I was a child. They aren't, of course, though there are many universal human experiences. Being swamped with information is one concern, as is the presence of screens and televisions everywhere. I am overwhelmed and it is my job to be the filter and the buffer! I'm also struggling with helping my children take hold of the world when I am not able to do it myself. And see, there's the melancholic: wanting perfection where it cannot be. Bless my heart.
The above verse has been on my mind since I read it last week. The words confirm what I have been feeling in this swirling, mad world (growing crazier by the day!) And yet, I do feel there is some significance in being here now, in this work. It is not paid or degree-driven, but it is so important and the things of real value cannot be monetized. I am trying to take comfort right when and where I am, and I am often very happy to simply be right here in this place.
I suppose I am working to bring some of the old into this new and changing time through my work with the children. It will be a help to them later in life, I hope. I think their knowledge is fairly broad of traditional skills, though there are times that I wish we had a bit more land to work with. We do have the advantage of the Roland Estate and the Old Davis Homeplace, so I try to do visit them as much as I can. It is funny to be so fixated on the past when I have always been so concerned with the future. I used to mark off my calendar a full day ahead.
This is part of the reason for homeschooling for our family. We do feel there are gaps in public education, gaps that we don't want to widen. Practical skills save us, time and again, and help us to make everyday miracles that stretch the budget and clear our minds. There are many moments of simple joy. Being in this mood, I am reading Lark Rise to Candleford and these words met my eyes yesterday:
Many of the men sang or whistled as they dug or hoed. There was a good deal of outdoor singing in those days. Workmen sang at their jobs; men with horses and carts sang on the road; the baker, the miller's man, and the fish-hawker sang as they went door to door; even the doctor and parson on their rounds hummed a tune between their teeth. . .The singers were rude and untaught and poor beyond imagining; but they deserve to be remembered, for they know the now lost secret of being happy on little.
~Flora Thompson
I love that last quote from Lark Rise to Candleford. It is so true, people knew how to be happy with little. We met a fisherman in Cuba on our travels. He had the opportunity to go to America with his wife, but he chose to stay with his daughter in Cuba and lead a simple life. Fishing, eating, loving, dancing and all the simple pleasures in life. He said going to America would only leave him feeling dissatisfied, when right then he was content. Life had a slow pace and he did not have to worry about earning enough as his basic needs were taken care of. He was a simple man, but wise indeed (all this was gleaned from the little Spanish I knew!) My brother in law is a farmer and he too seems very content. He rises early, does his work with a joyful heart and has a simple life. Material things do not matter to him. Some may think he has a poor life, but to me he is rich, as he is content. That is the elusive thing that people try to buy for themselves with material possessions, when it can only be found inside. I am also melancholic by nature and have had to distance myself from the news etc as I need to be positive and protect my children. There are so many negative influences is the culture today and the world is moving too fast for children's little brains to manage, so slowing down, being with your children, teaching them the skills they need to be self sufficient and appreciate all of God's gifts is a big gift you are giving them indeed. Having children is a responsibility and sometimes we can feel it acutely, that we wish the world were different, more caring, compassionate, with values that we feel comfortable with. I think all we can do is be ourselves, pass on the values that are important to us and raise respectful children, who know how to be creative and to appreciate the beautiful world we live it. There is so much hope. You are doing a wonderful, most important job. The world needs people like you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely story. It reminds me of one from Susan Perrow's Healing Stories--of a fisherman and his wife's quest for more and more. At the end, she wishes for everything in the whole world, and their fancy house disappears and they are right back where they were to begin with. :-) Such a timely reminder for me. Thank you. Thank you for your kind encouragement.
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